Chosen Solution
Okay, so the USB ports seem totally dead, no power at all. It is because some soda was spilled on it (I presume, at least, may be randomly related with something else). I also corrupted my OS X install, have to reinstall freshly. Now, I haven’t reset the SMC or PRAM yet, and that’s the first thing I’ll do (however as there’s is no 5V power, I doubt this will fix it, correct me if I am wrong). However, if that goes sour, and won’t fix the problem, what are my options? Here’s how I was thinking: Firstly, can someone tell my all the devices I should be seeing in the system profiler under USB? Also, isn’t it so that a central USB controller also handles the internal keyboard and iSight which still work perfectly, meaning that only the ports themselves are damaged? Let’s presume so, and that the USB controller chip is still okay. Should I just replace (desolder old, solder new) the female USB ports, or could the problem lie in the connection between them and the USB controller, and if the latter, how would one go about fixing it? Oh, and Apple hardware test says everything is OK.
I fixed it by thouroughly cleaning the board with 90% alcohol, leaving it to dry for 2 weeks, resetting the SMC and taking the battery out and back in, then reset the SMC again. I then bought a new magsafe charger for 25€ and now everything (including the USBs) works perfectly.
I think you need to start with the physical USB port/s of the system. Remove the battery pack & disassemble your system. I would clean the area where the soda spilled thoroughly of any soda that might be still present. Use distilled water on cotton swabs (Q-Tips) to clean things and then use isopropyl alcohol to then treat the areas to act as a dryer and look for any damage. If the USB outlets are damaged (corroded) you’ll need to replace the full logic board as they can’t be easily removed without damaging the logic board. Replacing any of the components of the logic board requires very special SMT tools and not really serviceable. The fact AHT does not find any problems implies your circuits (USB controller) are AOK. So most likely the USB sockets have become damaged. And, Yes, your USB devices do show up under the Apple Profiler application if they are seen.
